Last week I was feeling kind of down and out, wondering, in the grand scheme of things, what it all means. Only appropriate I thought, after a long and tedious class on substance abuse, did I decide to finish watching the movie “Humboldt County,” a take on the local marijuana assumptions of this area. Oddly enough I found the movie depressing (which may have explained my mood) but also enlightening and hopeful. Not sure where life was taking him, the main character allowed himself to eventually be open to new possibilities that came his way, and ultimately found courage to take action for his life.
As I sat through classes last week, listening and watching as professors read from their power points and class handouts, I became frustrated that my higher (highest) level of education was consisting of important, yet repetitive and/or basic levels of theory, thought, facts and discussions. I began to question why I decided to pursue graduate school and why social work, and questioning where my heart and passion really lie. Throughout my life people have said that it will come to me one day, I’ll figure it out, but sitting today in class made me wonder is “this” or whatever “this” is really worth feeling so frustrated and loss about? My mind kept escaping to things or activities that bring joy and happiness, a sense of balance, peace, and comfort to me, which did not evolve sitting in these classes with the curtains drawn and the movies rolling. There are moments I questioned myself on if it was really fair of me to feel like I’m not feeling fulfilled by my education, knowing that in not too long I will have some initials at the end of my name that maybe mean something to some employer, and mean a sense of accomplishment to ma. After sitting here starting to write, I think, yes, I do have a right to feel angry. Yes education is a privilege, and at this point it should also feel satisfying.
About ready for bed, I decided I needed to pull myself out of this self destructive thinking, so I pulled out from my bookshelf a book of meditations and flipped to a page, where I came to the above quoted inspiration. It made me smile because in a way, it summed up what I had been feeling all day. This “tradition” of going to school to get a job, to work an 8-5 is important but…there is also so much more that is essential too. I was gladly reminded of that.
With that said, I was also planning on blogging about a march/demonstration I went to this last week, hoping to gain a greater perspective of social justice and human rights issues in this county. I learned that there was a “Poor People’s March for Human Rights,” and at first I didn’t really know what this mean, who the organizers where, and what messages they wanted to voice. A friend of mine decided to check it out, and I am really happy I did.
We joined up with the march about half way through, and made our way to Highland park, were people gathered together to talk, eat and listen to speakers and music (though we left before the music and puppet show of health care reform). The march was organized by a grassroots group called People for Human Rights Sanctuary. As we chanted down the streets I began to understand the power of the people, who identified themselves as “poor,” and the importance of their message. They spread the word for the need of more accessible emergency shelters, longer term shelters, camps, camping supplies, and basic human rights.
After the march people joined in the park, and a young man started up a conversation with the crowd around housing and poverty. Someone asked ‘what poverty are you talking about,” and someone replied (can’t remember if it was the young man or a crowd member) but said, “surviving with dignity.” Issues of squatting, tent cities and HUD housing were also brought up.
During the march, I was also introduced to another grassroots organization, CopWatch, who joins demonstration and grassroots events to document abusive police activity to help support networks that respect and nurture the community. Interestedly enough, a volunteer of the group notified me that an undercover van had been following the march the whole way. This march couldn’t have been more peaceful and inclusive of people if it tried. CopWatch’s mission is to “turn state oppression into empowerment by networking with friends and neighbors to challenge the police state” (www.redwoodcurtainCopWatch.net).
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